Thursday, September 17, 2009

Tantrum, the adult way; Love me, the soft approach

Many of my friends would regard me as courageous and brave. Someone who would speak my mind and easy to talk to. A person who could cheer a party and lead the entertainment. A lady with such communication skills who would be in a relationship very soon and very quickly understands her partner. An individual who has a heart of gold, serves the community and put others above self.

But not many people could even believe this – I love to be pampered and sometimes even act like a spoiled child, could at times throw a tantrum in different ways.

I do not think that such behavior is wrong. In fact, it just shows that I am human anyway. Friends, relatives and even closest of buddies will see me as a heroin, view me as brave, courageous, always speak my mind out and will never believe this.

Only my father knows. He should. I am his only child so being pampered is just normal. And since I am his only child, being spoiled is also very normal. Throwing tantrum is my way to get things I want so I grew up with it.

I still remember once when I was not given the thing I wanted. I was only 4 years old, staying in my grandmother’s house. My parents were divorced and I stayed with my grandmother at that time. Being spoilt for 4 years and having to change environment so suddenly made me felt very uneasy. The little child in me could not stand the constant disciplining by my grandmother.

So, there was once when thing I wanted was not given, I went into my room, locked myself up and the worst nightmare began. I overturned almost everything in the room – from the mattresses, pillows, blanket and bolsters to the decorations on the table. Almost everything was in hay wire.

Outside, my grandmother and my aunts who were staying together in the same house kept on knocking the door, pleading that I opened it. I would cry non-stop, tears rolled non-stop and I will shout and shout and shout, while my hands, too, non-stop throwing everything I could see.

Suddenly, the door opened! Sensing that I will get to taste the cane flying to my skin, I equipped myself with whatever I could get. I threw at my “enemies”, almost everyone who enters the room got something flying to their forehead and face. What was the thing I wanted that I did this for? I forgot!

The adults had to stop me by holding my hands and legs. However, the more they did, the more I resisted. Another aunt came and when she walked to me, I can sense her love, she seem to be coming from somewhere without the “enemy” look. She opened her arms and pulled me to her body, hugging and cuddling me so tightly that no other adults could interfere our moments. I felt love. That was what I always wanted and my tears subsided.

I reflected this and came to now understand that I am a person who could be convinced, influenced and made to do things if I am treated with love and soft approach. It is true. One of my friends really discovered this very early and he uses very soft approach to get help to do things. And it was surprising how the results go.

Was it because I was brought up with lots of disciplining that I now tend to rely on soft approach? Was it because I lost parental love since young that I now look at love in this perspective? Was it because of my brought up that I desire much more attention when I am now an adult or was it natural to have a desire for recognition?

As an adult now, I am sometimes very childish in throwing tantrum in many different ways. No, I can’t throw things around my house anymore nor can I overturn the beds. Too messy and it will be hassle to clean up. I sometimes sulk, be quiet for long or at times even shout. Well, the “monkey” side (yes, I am born in the year of monkey) of me at times will need to be let wild. So I will complain, refuse to join certain events or ignore someone totally.

So, do not see someone so courageous or regarded as brave will not at times throw in a surprise.

1 comment:

  1. Everyone needs to be able to throw tantrums once in a while.