Contentment is gratitude to life, complacency is disaster to humankind

It is very important to have contentment in life - feeling that you are enough and having enough. Indeed, everyone of us have enough. You don't believe me?

Try opening your wardrobe and check out the many clothes you have. Try opening the refrigerator - the food and drinks we have. On the tap - the clean water running out the tap for our daily use. On the electricity - lights brighten the night at one blink of an eye. The fact that you are reading this blog, you have Internet access. Ain't our lives have enough? We live with ease, eat and drink enough - until obesity is even the major problem now....

Yes we have enough. Contentment is gratitude to life - the fact that you have enough, you feel enough and thankful for whatever is given or whatever you have in life.

However, we all should not be complacent, being too comfortable of our lives till we fail to improve. Improvements in life is one of the greatest gift you can give to humankind. We are not a beggar on the street or someone who could not make things work for our lives. We can.

Improvements in our lives, whether you are ordinary or special or unique, everyone should improve! Some people who added me on Facebook - after looking at my website always say - "Oh there is nothing to introduce myself about. I am just an ordinary person" Well hey ordinary in your own way has specialty in many ways. And in fact, improvements should start from HOME, not making hoo-hah of getting BIG things done. If you cannot do big things, do small things in a big way - that is just right from home!

Well, starting from home - you slowly inspire your family members and eventually your friends encircled you and later the community and eventually the country and slowly the world.

Let me share an example. I have been promoting organ donation since I first read a booklet on this topic. I first started with MYSELF - pledging my organs. Then I talked to my friends in school and even put up related articles at the school notice board. Well, many would say "How many people will be influenced that way?" But surprisingly, I have ex classmates (that was 16 years ago) putting a comment on my facebook saying "Hoong Ling I still remember you telling me about organ donation when we were in school and I still do not have that courage yet." Well, at least is a good start, and people REMEMBER that I told them about organ donation. Yes, so what if 16 years and she still has not signed up but years to come, more and more people talk about it, I am sure it will happen. Slowly but surely, 16 years efforts will not go by just like that.

I also remember my friend, Anas Zubedy starting ads on unity during festive seasons in Malaysia since 1990s (forgot which year he started it). And then, he also fought for September 16th as a holiday because it will be something significant and so Malaysians will learn Malaysia Day - the day we all Malaysians unite and not just merely a August 31st. His dream came true last year.

Last few years ago, crime rate in my housing area was at peak. We could hear people getting robbed even at daylight every other week. We first gathered among neighbours to add more lights at night. We also figured that many of us do not know our neighbours thus we should have some "parties" to know each other. Party means food and that attracted people. I was so glad to have a Malay neighbour who was never calculative and we shared the costs. At times he absorbed the full costs. We have small parties of about 10-30 people.

The tipping point was when a lady got slashed on the chin and needed 7 stitches from the doctor. That was when we figured we should do things collaboratively - eventually we spread out news that we are having a meeting. The community there was unconcerned and never bothered much so we expect only a few of us from our close community, the most maybe 30 but a whooping 120 people turned up! We eventually set up a Neighbourhood Watch and collaborate with the local MP to fence up our area. Crime rate fell - amazing results. See how we first started small....

Today, I am still doing the same thing. I figured out that environment is a big issue now. Dad wanted to start our own gardening long time ago so we have 2 big containers meant for gardening. We have a dog now so he cut the grass at the front porch often so our dog can play comfortably. I started last week to collect the cut grass, threw in every vege/fruits peels we have and I now also have a hamster - its bedding also can be threw in the container. Yesterday the local council cut trees in front of our house so we have dead wood, saw dust, green leaves but alas - a neighbour is now burning it right in front of our house!!! How disgusting! I should have shared about compost building with them so I can keep all the "rubbish" that they are burning. But I successfully inform my next door neighbour and she, too thinks she can do the same. As she plants some potted plants, she thinks is good to have compost, too so I taught her how to do it. This will eventually lessen the rubbish we have - vege fruits peels, table scrap can all be recycled as compost now.

Slowly but surely.

At times I, too fell into complacency but my nature is such that the complacency only last 2 months - bored with nothing to do, I will do something that will improve my life. And I am glad to have this nature in me. I hope you are too!

A Challenge To Life

I first heard this when playing CDs of Napoleon Hill Science of Success and have been repeating this section again and again. Googled it and found, would like to share.

Life, you can’t subdue me because I refuse to take your discipline too seriously. When you try to hurt me, I laugh-and the laughter knows no pain. I appreciate your joys wherever I find them; your sorrows neither frighten nor discourage me, for there is laughter in my soul.

Temporary defeat does not make me sad. I simply set music to the words of defeat and turn it into a song. Your tears are not for me, for I like laughter much better, and because I like it, I use it as a substitute for grief and sorrow and pain and disappointment.

Life, you are a fickle trickster-don’t deny it. You slipped the emotion of love into my heart so that you might use it as a thorn with which to prick my soul-but I learned to dodge your trap with laughter. You tried to lure me with the desire for gold, but I have fooled you by following the trail which leads to knowledge instead. You induced me to build beautiful friendships-then converted my friends to enemies so you may harden my heart, but I sidestepped your figure on this by laughing off your attempts and selecting new friends in my own way.

You caused men to cheat me at trade so I will become distrustful, but I won again because I possess one precious asset which no man can steal-it is the power to think my own thoughts and to be myself. You threaten me with death, but to me death is nothing worse than a long peaceful sleep, and sleep is the sweetest of human experiences-excepting laughter. You build a fire of hope in my heart, then sprinkle water on the flames, but I can go you one better by rekindling the fire-and I laugh at you once more.

You have nothing that can lure me away from laughter, and you are powerless to scare me into submission. To a life of laughter, then, I raise my cup of cheer!

by the king maker of millionaires, Napoleon Hill

Control Your Life BEFORE Facebook Does It!

Is interesting how Facebook slowly takes over your life.

I am a loyal person. Very loyal. I was first in Friendster and said will be loyal to it but only until messages after messages came inviting me to Facebook - finally, I gave in and registered an account to see what has it got. Surprisingly simple to use, easy to connect and a heaven of Internet "bookrmarks" ie you can share and tag a photo, video or note, or even synchronise with a blog, twitter, plurk; inviting friends to an event even knowing the RSVPs, joining a group or fan page, even for business connections. Facebook statuses now serve as a quicker, speedier, more accurate news updates than newspaper or TV news.

Then slowly, internet games where you connect and socialize with friends. I must admit I know a lot of new, close friends when playing one of the games, Farmville of course! While it takes up much of my time, I slowly need self discipline to control myself. Fortunately, I have strong self-control.

Last Tuesday I have decided not to go to www.facebook.com for 7 days. Boy, the first hour of that decision was difficult but then I blended in - by reading, spending time with dog, cook for family, write some articles, research some knowledge, getting more information on dogs, going to office, play badminton.... wow imagine the bonding back to real physical life!

However, as there are comments by friends on my activities still dropping via email, I find a few questioned my 7-day-no-facebook determination. Many thought I have logged in but in fact I merely shared links via youtube and websites, became a fan via fan box in a website and updating my twitter - which appear at the status! Wow... even NOT logging on www.facebook.com - doing daily activities on the web will update the Facebook wall - imagine how Facebook has controlled our lives. Almost every other websites you visited - has "Share on Facebook", "Become a Fan" or even "Join us on Facebook".

No doubt Internet is one thing that I may not be able to do 7-day-no-Internet thingy. I have been to a 10-day meditation retreat thinking it will be great to stop from Internet as laptops were not allowed but my PDA has EDGE! Alas....

But today is the 5th day I successfully abstained from www.facebook.com. 2 more days I can log in back. How I did it? I have tried scheduling my calendar to specific time or hours of the day only for facebooking - failed. I have tried only certain days - full day facebooking, other days NO facebook - failed. I have tried reading - failed. I am a person who must be treated with super drastic change. So how..?

1. Determined in the mind that I will abstain from Facebook and announce it to the world - I put on my status! Take stock how much time you are spending on facebook and try imagine what you have always wanted to do if not for facebook blocking that time - ie going for a movie, shopping for family, walking the dog, teaching the dog new tricks, cooking for family, calling some friends to reconnect, viewing some properties, learning money management, reading.... lots of things!

2. Remove facebook from bookmarks - it never pops up in front of you - the lesser the better - none pop up  the best

3. Think of ONE alternative word for facebook ie BOOK and have it so many with you. So when I thought of facebook or the itchy finger would like to type www.facebook.com, I think of BOOK and I grab the book I was reading half way and continue reading. I even have that book in my handbag just in case I thought of facebook while driving - I'm PDA connected! I am only about 3 chapters away from finishing the book now! Amazing how things get done without much facebook.

4. Arranged my time with outings - Yesterday I went for a dialogue, then to the Grand Opening of Monavie, then to PAWS Mission looking at dogs and I purposely stayed there for dinner, shop around till night, came back to train and play with my Beagle and then bathe and all I have was time to sleep. No facebook for another day, yay!

My purpose of facebook-fasting is not to abstain it forever but to completely cut down the time on facebook and then slowly increasing to an hour a day. Yes, facebook can never disappear from our lives now but if we do not control our lives, most likely Facebook will!

BIG question about "Living Your Dream" - HOW?

I have dreams - big and small. I am still young so I can't be bragging about being very successful but I have one thing worth sharing - I am living my dreams. I have wanted to be recognised due to desire for self-expression (which I blogged about here) and I have achieved what I wanted and more.

Desiring for recognition? I have got the Selangor Youth Award at 26 by the Ministry of Youth and Sports, Great Woman of Our Time Award at 28 by the Malaysian Women Weekly (youngest recipient so far), Lions Club District 308-B1 Distinguished Service Award and due recognition for the good deeds I have done. And I was doing all these for ONE main objective at that time - to proof to my aunt that Chew family can also be successful.

I have done my works, reached my objective after 15 long years. That made me suddenly thought "So, what's next?" My journey of self-discovery last year revolved around understanding myself better and eventually I have wanted to become a successful emcee, speaker and trainer. I wrote about my emceeing dream here.

I have quit my job beginning of the year and currently doing really good and loving my daily life because of my desire for freedom and to do what I want. I am emceeing in many events now, the recent acknowledgment was by a master in Sun Tzu Art of War saying I am the "gold medal" emcee!

I list down just a few points to share on HOW to live your dreams.

Do Good
The FIRST thing you can do to yourself and others. Doing good, keeping no regrets and living every moment at least it will be the last. Of course, I have regrets here and there but in the last few years I have lived my life without too much regrets that I couldn't sleep at night. It is interesting to note that this phrase 'DO GOOD" itself is easier said than done however we can start small by saying thank you when someone hold the lifts' door for us, smile at a stranger or just help a person who has dropped something.

Financial
Keep expenses to the lowest, commitment lowest, have substantial savings, and if you decide to be in debt - make sure can cover it in short term, a maximum of 5 years. Bad debts, to be exact!

Having my financial controlled meaning I can quit my job anytime. I work in a company knowing I am not doing it solely for money but for passion, commitment, learning and having that strong sense of responsibility. I treat the company as mine and I work as if I am the boss so that whenever I make a decision, I will always put the company as top priority - never for self-interest. So when there are people asking me why things get done - this is the main reason! If you work for money, chances are your daily work will be moaning around not enough money, no pay raise, no bonus and therefore work efficiency reduces which in turn - no raise no bonus!

This does not mean I am conservative in spending, in fact I am in the "spender" group, I would say I am not the frugal type. Ask any of my friends, they say I spend like I have millions. I enjoy "luxury" enjoyments like savouring Chinese tea, good liquor and even cigar at times! I love my gold coins collection and of course now building my property collection.

I was introduced to finance only when first reading Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki. I would say it took me more than 2 years to change my mindset about money - something set in the mind by parents and guardians since young - you just gotta change it and do it! Many people do not have that guts to even start, therefore I recommend starting somewhere and now is the best time! Go attend a course or two - if it is free course, attend as many as possible! Even if it says "free previews", go attend because you will learn something.

Be True to Self
I grew up as a popular person everywhere I go. In primary school - the naughtiest! In secondary school - the loudest! I was commander for foot drill, school is so small so it will be difficult to contain your voice in that small environment. With that popularity, it was difficult to be myself. I was wearing a "mask" out everyday trying to be someone. It all stopped when I finally suffocated myself and then I said, "Let me be myself". From the day I removed my "mask" I felt great, the whole burden was lifted from me and I just be myself. There is nothing more you can give to yourself when you are yourself.

I speak directly, very straightforward, no nonsense but I appreciate sense of humor, laugh loudly and heartily! I am the most direct and straightforward person, some may be offended but I care less to think about offending who because in the end, I am responsible for myself and my mouth.

Be Contented, but not Complacency
Be contented with what you have - that's the only thing we can do daily to have what we have! I am very satisfied with my life. I have (more than) enough to eat, 2 wardrobes of clothes which I try to wear till they all tear but they could last for years! I have a good home, eventhough is rented, I have calculated the finance to justify renting. The furnitures at home enough, I have a collection of tea which could last me for at least 40 years, a good few bottles of liquor and red wine, I love making my house everyday now!

However, do have achievable goals every year and slightly challenging ones so to make your daily lives an interesting one - something that makes you jump out of bed every morning! Do not be too contented till complacency takes over.

Gratitude
Is not difficult to list down at least 5 things you are grateful for at the end of the night. The food you eat, the air you breath, the people who have hurt you so you grow to be a better person, things that do not get along because it helps you patience, the every little things that you have - APPRECIATE it. Say THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU everyday. In fact, about a quarter ago, I started typing THANK YOU only in capital letters, even in emails. Because it is a BIG THANK YOU!

This is the single attribute that makes me jump out of bed every morning. Appreciating that I am still breathing when I wake up.

Take Chances
Quitting my job is not easy. I had about RM14,000 debts when I made the decision, I have no plans yet at that time - all I knew is I want to emcee but no jobs yet. I also want to go around to speak on organ donation but all these are for free, I also would like to be a trainer which I am now pursuing the Napoleon Hill certified trainer course (new trainer, what do you expect?) I want to invest in property but I went for 7 auctions last year only got one property so the income is not enough. But I just needed to take the chance!

I think that my bold step and courage is right because I am free. I felt that I have a "too heavy" sense of responsibility. When I am working for others, I must get things done therefore I am burdening myself when things are not done especially when decisions lies in your bosses' hands - which sometimes decisions were never made - making me madder! This heavy sense of responsibility also proven when I took the current project with Money Compass making me feel stressful when my objectives are not reached. But all good - I learnt a lot of things.

Therefore, this year I would like to take out the things that burden me - ie my job and do what I do not feel burden on - my passion. Being an emcee, speaking and training!

Is OK to Work for Free
Yes it is. In fact, this "work for free" attitude is what built me to who I am today. ALL organizations that I have joined and served are all working for free. I remember starting working for free for many people, including being the ex-secretary to Dato' Sri Ong Tee Keat. This attitude has generated more "income" than ever - even if it is not in monetary terms. It built a stronger character, learnt much more, communications skills and knowing the inside out of things.

This principle of not working for money is in line with the "financial" pointer I have above.

Give
Once in a while or shall I say, all the time - think of GIVING! It is not just giving money. You can give more efforts to your work by doing something extra or help a colleague finishes his or her tasks. You can give your time to the old and orphaned. You can volunteer to clean your house (as in giving your family something). You can offer to cook a meal - give!

In my case, I did a super bold step to give my liver! Looking back, I have not figured out why I did that in the first place.

Play a game or two
At times we just needed to relax. Play a game or two - sports or just computer games! I was a fan of Luna Online after seeing my 50-year old mother playing CQ Online. Hey, my mom playing online games! Now, I am a fan of Farmville on facebook. Interesting how the game comes with the concept of giving and paying it forward.

Hunger to Learn
I need to relook at this and return to the always hunger to learn. I must say I have this attitude with me since schooldays making me eager to learn in many ways even trying to learn as much as I can. Now, as I grow older, I must admit there is a little "ego" in me that made me slow down a bit. As I am writing this blog, I am renewing my energy and hunger to learn.

Appreciate laughters
I laugh loudly and heartily. Some people said it was because of my ear is not functional on the left therefore I speak louder and laugh louder. True to a sense but I just appreciate good laughters. I was very serious in school. To me, being a commander for foot drill in school does not help - everything was serious, you can't laugh when in line, we were basically not just drilled on foot but drilled like any military man - therefore the tough and often rough me!

I read a self improvement book at teen age which says humor is good. I was lousiest when it comes to humor. No one at home has said good jokes - everything was so serious, my aunt was a disciplinarian. At school in class, teachers are not good jokers. How the heck am I going to learn humor. You just gotta start and since you are starting somewhere, why not NOW!? So I started to learn a few jokes and slowly blend in every conversation. Lame jokes included at first but then it improves! Do not be afraid of copying others jokes - is just for laughs anyway and laughs we should - always!

I think if you ask my friends now, I should be the one who talks a lot and laugh a lot but more to it, making people laugh the most! Agree?

So, live your dreams - is easy - you just need the first step and the first step should be TODAY. Having the slightest intention to do it is already a good start.